PRO vs. CON: WHO THE HELL IS LORDI ANYWAY?
Monday, March 9, 2009
PRO from a Pro

Ok so last week I'm watchin tv and I'm watchin this show about Black Metal. They were talking about how some Norwegian metal bands were allegedly burning churches and turning their backs on Christianity, but that's not what I'm here writing about...but it did get me in a very metal mood. So fast forward a few days when I was hanging in the basement from hell with 'The Gut" and I was telling him about this metal mood I have been in since watching a bunch of Nordic motherfuckers burn shit and he brought me to a web site with this band called Lordi. I was like "What the fuck its this shit?!"( if I'm late to the party about this band.... FUCK YOU ALL! I was listening to Venom when you were still swimming in your daddy's sack!) They were all made up with these fuckin costumes as if they were out of some B-rated monster movie. We ended up finding their video and listened to their one cd The Arockalype. Dude if you like old school metal like Accept, Manowar, Armored Saint, get this fuckin cd! Dude I thought I was in high school again! They even have Udo Dirkschneider, Jay Jay French and Dee Snider doing some guest appearances throughout the album. The music has catchie choruses, like Hard Rock Hallelujah, Bringing Back the Balls to Rock, and more. They seem like Gwar but without the politics. So if you're looking for some old school metal like you used to listen to back in the day pick this cd up.


~THE GUY ON THE WALL


CON from a CON

My esteemed friend, The Guy On The Wall, can not be wrong enough when it comes to the rubber enveloped ripoffs known as Lordi. I mean really. Really? Seriously? These guys have about as much to do with Black Metal as I do... and I can put on a mean Black Metal outfit for Halloween. So here's my take on these fakes. Yes, they sound like a good throwback, viking metal band. But lose the costumes fellas. If you haven't noticed, its been done before. And done with waaaaay more creativity than these wannabes. Yes. I am speaking of the alien beings who have conquered and enslaved Earth nIne times over...GWAR!!! Not only are GWAR a brilliant sideshow circus act, but they are a damned talented trash metal band to boot. Lordi may sound old school, but do they behead the likes of Osama Bin Laden, both president Bushs' and Paris Hilton? Does the singer of Lordi have an alien penis which sings soprano? Better yet, how many feature films have these dopplegangers made? ZERO! Gwar have starred in numerous entertaining films such as Phallus in Wonderland and Rendezvous With Ragnarock, both are pretty much Oscar material. I couldn't even tell you how many albums these sick puppies have put out at this point, but the two best are Scumdogs of the Universe and Violence Has Arrived. Classics in their own right by all means.





~GDEVIL

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