Wednesday, February 18, 2009
ITS NO HORSE SHIT!
After 82 years, the Model T is set to replace the horse - again.
A city lawmaker wants to phase out controversial buggy-pulling horses and replace them with eco-friendly electric replicas of vintage Model T Fords.
The proposal - which has been pitched by animal-rights activists for months - has been taken up by Councilman Daniel Garodnick (D-Manhattan), who is hoping to put it before the City Council this spring.
"We have been exploring the idea that would essentially create a substitute for the horses," said a source close to Garodnick.
Its about fucking time. I'm not a super animal rights activist or anything but have you ever walked passed a Central Park horse and buggy? Or better yet actually been victim to a horse and buggy ride? The smell of horse shit permeates throughout. Its enough to make you want to vomit. How romantic can a buggy ride be when it smells like your significant other bathed in shit for hours prior? I say good move going to the old Model T. Alas, I'm sure some fuckwad liberal cunt will be protesting about the ozone next however. Ya gotta love this city.
JEW NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS
A Hasidic Jew indicted on shocking kiddie-porn and child-rape charges claims he's too religious to even look at the grotesque photographic evidence against him.
The 23-year-old Rockland County man is due in a Manhattan court today to seek bail. If convicted, he could go to jail for as many years as he's lived.
Prosecutors say David Silverman and two buddies - both now fugitives in Israel - used MySpace to lure three girls, ages 14 and 15, from their Westchester County homes to nightclub-style porn set near the Javits Center in March 2007.
Once there, the men allegedly plied the girls with alcohol and filmed the resulting orgy.
"The worst part is, we have no idea if these pictures - and there's video, too - are still out there," one source said
Raised in a Hasidic family upstate, Silverman left home in his teens, shaved his hair, tattooed his body, pierced both ears multiple times, and joined the sex- and drug-drenched rave and trance music scene.
The girls knew him only as David or his online names, "DJ Rings" and "King Dingling." By the time cops found him, his two friends had fled the country, the illegal "dance club" on 34th Street had been dismantled, and his computer's hard drive was wiped clean.
Or so Silverman thought.
Three days into jury selection last month, prosecutors resurrected a series of triple-X photos implicating Silverman and his two alleged accomplices.
Silverman has insisted he never touched the girls.
On the strength of the new evidence, Silverman, who had returned to the Hasidic lifestyle and moved to Spring Valley, was tossed into jail in lieu of $50,000 bail on charges of child pornography and statutory rape.
Now, he is refusing to discuss anything to do with the charges or look at the evidence "for religious reasons," says his lawyer, Israel Fried.
"He was 21 at the time, and the girls were 14, 15, but did not represent themselves as such," Fried claimed.
Isn't it funny how religion an come in handy when the shit hits the fan? Get caught playing patty cake with a few underage teenagers and all of a sudden Yahweh is your savior once again. If this story is true let's hope "King Dingaling" gets his bells rung while in C-Block by a guy named "Bubba". As if I didn't hate the rave and trance scene enough...
A-ROID PHENOM
You'd have to be deaf, Dumb and blind not to hear any of the bullshit, New York Yankee all-star, Alex Rodriguez has been spewing about his past steroid use. When the story first hit, his reply was ,
"Well to be honest, I'm not sure what I was really putting into my body."
I smell cop out. Alex. Here's some advice. Admit you shot yourself full of GH or whatever teh hell it was, admit it wasm a mistake, admit it was to gain an advantage and to keep your edge, and I would have more respect for you. But alas, what does the dipshit do? He holds a press conference, of which was televised on virtually EVERY major news channel. In this press conference one can see how nervous Mr. Rodriguez was. Look how many times he goes for a drink of water!!!! And he STILL does not admit the truth. Instead he, his agent, and teh Yankee public relations team concoct this story in which he and his un-named cousin tried taking steroid. "To be honest, I'm not even sure we were doing them correctly."
Boli!? I'm no doctor but common sense tells me that "boli" may be short for "anaBOLIC"? Just maybe? And what's with that long, drawn out, over-exaggerated pause when he goes to address his teammates? SOOO SCRIPTED!!! Must have been taking acting lessons from that talentless hag, Madonna.
To be honest??? In my experience, anyone leading off with "To be honest" is anything but! I have officially given up on baseball and maybe even sports in general. Fact of the matter is its a new age, sports and science go hand in hand and athletes will do anything to gain an edge, to be that much better, to make that much more money. I blame teh fan for allowing such nonsense such as million dollar signing bonuses to enter into professional sports. These guys forget what exactly they are doing for a living here. They are PLAYING a game that more than likely we have all played at some point in our lives. And at some point we decided these guys should make millions in order to give us a little excitement. Priorities America. Priorities.
A chimpanzee, considered a fixture in the north Stamford community, turned into a monster on Monday afternoon, attacking a 55-year-old woman after she showed up at the home of the animal's owner, at 241 Rockrimmon Road.
"He bit both of her hands off and the cop told me he just kept eating her. It's terrible," said Lynne Mecca, a friend of the victim.
The 200-pound animal was a celebrity in Stamford. It appeared in TV commercials. People would stop to take photos with "Travis the chimp" as he was called.
But that all changed when it attacked Charla Nash, a friend of the animal's owner.
Ok. I know some woman is in critical, hell she may have even died by now. But I have to say this. You mess with the bull you get the horns. Or in this case, you mess with the chimp, you get your face ripped off. Seriously, is ANYONE out there shocked by this? A random pitbull attack is one thing. But when you mix anti-depressants, wine and a 200 lb chimpanzee your just playing with fire. My thing is that you actually have to tell people this!?
We're not sure what caused the attack?!?! How about keeping a 200 lb, wild, jungle dwelling, creature in a residential area and raising it as a pet, or a human? How about doping it up with Xanax???? I must be a horrible person because I can't help but laugh everytime I hear that 911 tape! I know i know! It's terrible! But I just can't help thinking that the 911 operator is thinking in the back of his head, "Man, if I get one more prank phone call today, I'm gonna go ape-shit!"
That was funny. Admit it.
Anyway we could all learn a lesson here. Don't feed your primate Xanax and alcohol. No matter how much they beg. Never feed them after midnight. And never get them wet...oh wait wrong movie...
How about we turn towards this flop of a movie starring B-Horror hero, Bruce Campbell and Ghostbuster, Ernie Hudson in 1995's Congo? Its almost as if the writer's predicted this chimp uprising!!!
Ahh, if only all primates were as good as Amy was....
Labels: Rants and Raves, Video
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