Saturday, December 27, 2008
WD SYNDICATE BEST OF 2008
Happy holidays from the Syndicate! Hopefully Santa made his yearly visit, dropped off some toys and didn’t make out with you girl in the meantime. If you’re reading this you survived the annual holiday shopping frenzy and your kicking back with some eggnog while wearing that ugly sweater your Aunt Tootsie made for you (yes, I had an Aunt Tootsie). In all seriousness, we here at the Syndicate wish you and yours a very happy and safe holiday.
With each passing year we are always subjected to all these year end reviews, or best of lists. Frankly I’m not impressed with many or any of them. So being that WD SYNDICATE made its official relaunch in 2008, I felt it necessary to put our own spin on the best of 2008. From, music to politics, 2008 was far from boring. So without further adieu, we bring you the BEST OF 2008!
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Ok here are the ground rules for this category. At first we were going to go by genre. But listing Best Punk Album, Best Hardcore Album, Best Metal Album, Best Metalcore Album, Best Emo Album (if that even exists), and so on and so on would just be counter productive. No, we wanted the best fucking album put out in 2008 hands down. The best album of 2008 should blur the lines of genre and make it to your playlist the most despite your so called musical allegiance.CANCER BATS
Hail Destroyer
Hail Destroyer
Obviously this was a tough category, especially when combining all musical genres. But Canadian rockers the Cancer Bats hit a home run with Hail Destroyer. Combining genres such as metal, hardcore, punk and southern rock, we here at the Syndicate found it virtually impossible not to give this award to them! The album is an absolute rager from beginning to end and does not let up at any point. Songs such as Harem of Scorpions, PMA Till I’m DOA, and Regret are absolutely mosh pit inducing numbers. I challenge anyone to name a song better to get over getting played by a chick than Sorceress. Working day and night got you down? Try throwing on Deathsmarch while stuck in the cubicle next time. I’m willing to bet your ripping off your cheap tie and throwing windmills by the copy machine in no time.
Runner Ups: (1) Parkway Drive Horizons, (2) H2O Nothing to Prove, (3) Gojira The Way of the Flesh, (4) Testament The Formation of Damnation, (5) The Gaslight Anthem The’59 Sound,
WORST ALBUM OF THE YEAR
To be the winner of this prestigious award a band has to have two elements. One, the band has to suck to begin with and two, the band has to put out an album that is complete garbage. Hey they say, consistency counts for something right? The Worst Album of the Year should be exactly that….garbage that just annoys you just for being played. It’s the album that either hasn’t made it to your iPod or you immediately skip over any of its songs while on shuffle. And the loser is…METALLICA
Death Magnetic
Death Magnetic
It’s of no surprise that our WORST album of the year is apparently Revolver magazine’s BEST album of the year. Just goes to show you who sucks dick at the rest stop bathroom and who doesn’t. How anyone can name this drawn out album the best of 2008 is beyond us. Here at WD headquarters the consensus seems to be that Metallica lost its teeth when it released the radio friendly, hard rock, Black Album. They left metal behind and joined the ranks of Led Zepplin, CCR, Pearl Jam and their classic rock motif. Ok, maybe we’re being a bit harsh on the guys here. With all due respect, we know that without the monster that was Metallica, many of today’s bands probably wouldn’t exist. Their music has inspired many…but the keywords “was” and has”…past tense. The leader of the big 5 of thrash hung up its chops, licks and fast paced riffs with Justice and never looked back. Sure Death Magnetic has its moments, but for such a juggernaut we were expecting so much more…and utterly disappointed yet again (hello St. Anger!). The Unforgiven III?!?!? Come on now!!!!
Runner Ups: (1) The Offspring Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace, (2) Guns N’ Roses Chinese Democracy, (3) Saliva Cinco Diablo, (4) Nickelback Dark Horse, (5) Fall Out Boy Dave de Sylvia, (6) Judas Priest Nostradamus.
COMEBACK BAND OF THE YEAR
Bands come and go and sometimes, come back again. Sometimes they are better off not coming back. It’s a tough obstacle to overcome and any band that can do it successfully are usually a force to be reckoned with. 2008 was filled with comebacks. Some more commercial than others, but only one will win the Syndicate’s title of Comeback Band of the Year…H20
Nothing To Prove
New York hardcore legends came back with glorious anger with the release of Nothing To Prove. After a seven year hiatus which included branching out into various side projects (Toby Morse - Hazen Street, Todd Morse - Juliette and the Licks and The Operation M.D., Rusty - P-Nut Jewelery) the band regrouped and put together an album that made us feel like it were 1994 all over again. The album is fun, fast and furious. Plenty of gang vocals and guest appearances (Lou Koller of Sick of it All, Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio, Roger Miret of Agnostic Front) litter the album and give it a great old school feel but the guys go through great lengths not to be "preachy", chasing away new listeners. The album was followed by nonstop touring which the band has always been known for (Dropkick Murphy's, H2O, and Civet on the ALL ROADS LEAD TO BOSTON TOUR). A good part of my life has been spent at H2O shows and its great to see the guys haven't lost a step. They are one of the best hardcore bands to perform live, always have been. After a seven year layoff, they learned a lot about life and it shows in both the album and their live performances. At the end of the day, they got nothing to prove.
Nothing To Prove
New York hardcore legends came back with glorious anger with the release of Nothing To Prove. After a seven year hiatus which included branching out into various side projects (Toby Morse - Hazen Street, Todd Morse - Juliette and the Licks and The Operation M.D., Rusty - P-Nut Jewelery) the band regrouped and put together an album that made us feel like it were 1994 all over again. The album is fun, fast and furious. Plenty of gang vocals and guest appearances (Lou Koller of Sick of it All, Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio, Roger Miret of Agnostic Front) litter the album and give it a great old school feel but the guys go through great lengths not to be "preachy", chasing away new listeners. The album was followed by nonstop touring which the band has always been known for (Dropkick Murphy's, H2O, and Civet on the ALL ROADS LEAD TO BOSTON TOUR). A good part of my life has been spent at H2O shows and its great to see the guys haven't lost a step. They are one of the best hardcore bands to perform live, always have been. After a seven year layoff, they learned a lot about life and it shows in both the album and their live performances. At the end of the day, they got nothing to prove.
Runner Ups: Testament, Motley Crue, AC/DC
BIGGEST LETDOWN ALBUM
This category is not at all similar to the Worst Album of the Year in that the “winner” of this award isn’t necessarily a disaster of a band that induces sleep or suicide. Everyone has bad days and maybe this band just wasn’t feeling so hot when they recorded the biggest letdown since you told your parents you were dropping out of school to pursue your acting career.ALKALINE TRIO
Agony & Irony
Agony & Irony
I can hear thousands of emo kids crying their mascara off already. I know, I know…we’re a bunch of savages for naming Alkaline Trio as the recipient of this award. I’m sure I’ll lose about 10 minutes of sleep over it. Agony & Irony was over-hyped and disappointing. No one wanted this album to be better than what it was than we did! There’s only about two really good songs on this album and comparing it to the band’s predecessors is futile. It just doesn’t compare.
Runner Ups: (1) Rise Against Appeal to Reason, (2) In This Moment The Dream, (3) All That Remains Overcome.
BEST TV SHOW
Again, we’re combining all the genres here. Comedy, thriller, mystery, cop shows, all got to compete for the best show on television. New, old, it didn’t make a difference. It had to hold our attention for the entire season. That means we would lie, cheat and steal in order not to miss an episode. But being we all have DVR or Tivo I guess that just makes us really bad people huh?It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Another tight race but the gang from Sunny won in convincing fashion, and for good reason. Hands down it is the most original, most entertaining, most shocking and most hysterical show on television today. If Danny DeVito ran for president the Syndicate would vote for him. The Syndicate’s own, Gdevil was Greenman for Halloween! They did an entire show about a mystery poop!!!! Is there anything more funny than poop humor? We don’t think so, and if you do, you’re probably on the wrong website.
Runner Ups: (1) Sons of Anarchy, (2) Dexter, (3) Burn Notice, (4) Psyche, (5) True Blood
HOTTEST “UNKNOWN” GIRL ON MYSPACE
Fire up your engines boys and girls. This award goes to the hottest amateur model/gal on Myspace. Looks are one thing, but the winner of this one isn’t just lips, tits and a great ass. She also has to have a good attitude. One where if you leave a comment on her page she actually writes you back saying how sweet you are, making your ego as well as other body parts swell. By “unknown” we mean she hasn’t graced the covers of Maxim, FHM or Stuff (is that still out?) just yet, but she’s also not just posting camera phone pictures of her in the ladies room. Please ladies, some professionalism por favor? Our Hottest Girl on Myspace has to have mostly all or some professional photography in her profile.Jessenia Vice
Instead of telling you all why Jessenia won, how about we just post a photo or two and tell you we hope she does a WD shoot in the near future. We have a feeling the title "Unknown" won't be for very long. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Jessenia Vice…
Runner Ups: Jessenia won by such a large margin we actually sold all of the runner ups to Middle Eastern men to be sex slaves.
BEST PORNO
Best pornographic film. Yes, pornography is on everyone's mind. Don't front. Even the holiest of holy's have indulged in a Debbie Does Dallas video or two..or three. Porn has come a long way since the cheesy music and over abundance of pubic hair circa 1970s and 80s. Have you seen the crowd the AVN's get each year in Vegas??? Fact of the matter is the porn industry is one of the largest in the world and like it or not (WE LIKE IT! WE LIKE IT!) its here to stay. So why not have some fun with it? The best skin flick as judged by WD SYNDICATE has to entertain as well as arouse. We're artists here for god's sake! Give us more than a suck, slam, money shot for our dollar!
CUM ON MY TATTOO #4
Tattoos+hot gals+porn+money shots = WD SYNDICATE'S Best Porno of 2008! This one from Burning Angel is sure to take the wrinkles out of your pants. Directed and delivered with the quirky comedic genius of Brookyln's favorite Jew, Joanna Angel, COMT#4 assembles a gorgeous cast including Jessie Lee (GDevil's favorite), Casi Nova, Dasi Marie, and the smoking hot Jezebelle Bond. The girls produce scorching scene after scorching scene but in true BA fashion, never taking themselves too seriously. You'll find yourself laughing while choking your chicken for sure. And who doesn't want to laugh AND whack off???
Tattoos+hot gals+porn+money shots = WD SYNDICATE'S Best Porno of 2008! This one from Burning Angel is sure to take the wrinkles out of your pants. Directed and delivered with the quirky comedic genius of Brookyln's favorite Jew, Joanna Angel, COMT#4 assembles a gorgeous cast including Jessie Lee (GDevil's favorite), Casi Nova, Dasi Marie, and the smoking hot Jezebelle Bond. The girls produce scorching scene after scorching scene but in true BA fashion, never taking themselves too seriously. You'll find yourself laughing while choking your chicken for sure. And who doesn't want to laugh AND whack off???
Runner Ups: (1) Babysitters, (2) Honey Bunny, (3) Fuck Me In The Bathroom
BEST FREE PORN WEBSITE
Why waste money on porn when you can get some quality skin flicks for free via the internet? If you choose to throw money out of your window you probably ate some paint chips when you were younger. Yes there are some quality pay sites out there, and if you are looking for a specific sort of fetish such as midgets, bondage and/or choking then maybe you should steal mom’s credit card and go nutty…no pun intended. Till then here's the Syndicate's best free porn site of 2008...Pornhub is awesome. It’s updated a bunch of times daily and you rarely see the same video twice. Your not getting snips of videos, mostly your getting whole clips! No more skipping on the money shot for us! Another feature includes a great search engine to find all the scenes of your favorite vixen or genre. Why waste time searching when there’s spankin off to be done??
Runner Ups: (1) TUBE8, (2) MAXPORN, (3) YOUPORN
BEST WEBSITE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT YET
There are zillions of websites out there. Hell even WE have a website! Who would have thought! If you can think of it, there’s a site for it. Hairy footed women who perform topless car washes? Google it. I’m sure something will come up. The winner of this award should be able to keep you busy for hours and piss off the IT department so much they eventually block it from work computers.Got hours to kill? Procrastinate much? Dodgin doing actual work? OVGUIDE is the place to be. It breaks down all that is the internet into categories and then gives you the best sites to surf on. Check it out!
Runner Ups: WWW.WDSYNDICATE.COM Come on, did you really think we weren’t gonna plug ourselves here???
BEST MMA FIGHT
Congrats to MMA for pretty much making the fiasco known as boxing a thing of the past. Let’s just all hope and pray that greed, money and power doesn’t infect what is probably the most entertaining sporting events of recent time. With that said, there were some great MMA fights had in 2008. UFC, WEC, Affliction all promoting big name cards and putting some quality fights for display. The Best MMA Fight of 2008 should have it all though. Great storyline, great fighters and of course, a great fight.Couture vs Lesnar
This was a tough decision but in hindsight we felt that the Couture vs Lesner fight had it all. The salty veteran warrior verse what seems to be the future, immoveable object. In the end, Couture fell to Lesner in respectable fashion. The fight brought great debate the next day at the water cooler as yuppies and pencil pushers talked about as if they were starting a Fight Club of their own in the parking lot.
Runner Ups: (1) Urijah Faber vs. Jens Pulver, (2) Chuck Lidell vs. Rashard Evans, (3) Eddie Alvarez vs. Joachim Hansen
BEST ART WEBSITE
Yes, we’re a cultured bunch. We can appreciate good art even when its just for art’s sake. Just don’t show me a lump of shit and tell me it’s man’s plight against the system. The winner of this category should be able to hold anyone’s interest, even if they aren’t art aficionados.I swear, favoritism had nothing to do with this selection. So what I’ve known the head honcho over at Robots for upwards of 20 years (shit, just gave away my age didn’t I?). This is in no way a plug for the fastest growing, most informative street art and graf site in the world. I swear. (How was that for subtle Chris?)
BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG
The list was long. Too long. We kept adding to it as the days went on and finally we had enough and decided to just name a whole bunch of douchebags to the list. They are all deserving of praise. Douchebaggery seemed to run rampant in 2008 and sadly it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. Please do everyone a favor. If you see douchebaggery occurring in your neighborhood, please do something about it. Much like terrorism, if you see something, say something. And the douchebags are...
There you have it folks. The best and worst of 2008 as viewed by us at the Syndicate. The views expressed in this article are the soul opinions of WD SYNDICATE. If you disagree with or are offended by any you're probably a douchebag yourself and may very likely end up on next year's list.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
There you have it folks. The best and worst of 2008 as viewed by us at the Syndicate. The views expressed in this article are the soul opinions of WD SYNDICATE. If you disagree with or are offended by any you're probably a douchebag yourself and may very likely end up on next year's list.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Labels: Rants and Raves, Reviews, Video
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